The holidays can be a cheerful time, but they can also be a time full of stress. In fact, as many as 64% of people who struggle with mental illness report that the holidays tend to make their symptoms worse.1 Between traveling and hosting, financial strains, and the complex feelings that can come with family gatherings or the lack thereof, it’s easy to begin to feel overwhelmed.
Learning how to practice self-care even in the midst of the holiday hustle is key, especially if you already struggle with your mental health. Let’s go over a few tips in today’s blog.
Mental Health Challenges During the Holidays
The holiday season comes with a number of mixed emotions: joy, stress, relief at having a break, grief over lost loved ones, exhaustion at the sheer business of it all. So before we dive into self-care tips, let’s talk about some of the mental health challenges you may face during the holiday season:
Loneliness
With so much emphasis on “togetherness” during the holidays, it can feel lonely if you’re separated from your loved ones or don’t have anyone to celebrate with. This can be especially exacerbated if you have mental health struggles with depression, which tends to intensify feelings of isolation and loneliness.
Seasonal Affective Disorder
With shorter, colder days, seasonal affective disorder (SAD) affects 10-20% of people with depression and 25% of people with bipolar disorder — as well as 0.3 to 5% of people overall.2 With SAD, you may feel more lethargic, irritable, or fatigued in the darkest days of winter, which is right when the holidays fall most often.
Family Conflict
Even when you love your family, it can be common to have complicated relationships with them. Many people dread the uncomfortable dinner conversations that can come up during the holidays with family members who might not be very supportive of their identity, may have very different political opinions, or may ask invasive questions.
Financial Stress
There is a pressure to buy more during the holidays than at any other time of year. Even if you’re not buying presents for everyone you plan to see, you may still feel pressure to get the ingredients for a big dinner, decorations for your house or apartment, and so on. This can be a point of stress if you have a limited income.
Travel or Social Fatigue
If you have a big family, you may have multiple gatherings to attend for the holidays — and some may be very far apart. This could mean traveling multiple times over the span of a month or just wearing out your social battery with so many holiday events. Even beyond your family, there are often work parties and parties hosted by friends. You may want to attend these events and may even enjoy them, but that does not make them any less draining.
Grief
The first holiday season after losing a loved one can be a challenging one. Grief tends to hit harder, especially as those around you emphasize spending time with their loved ones. You may be inundated with memories of past holidays spent with someone who is now gone or sadness over the fact that they won’t be here for this holiday season.
These are just a few mental health challenges that you may face during the holiday season, but everyone is different. The important thing is to be able to acknowledge what you’re feeling and practice self-care.
Practicing Self-Care During the Holidays
It’s easy to let self-care fall by the wayside in all the hectic flurry of the holidays. But pretending to be okay when you’re not will only make the season a difficult one to look back on. In order to truly get the joy and peace that the holiday season should bring, it’s important to maintain those quiet moments and practices of self-care. Here are a few strategies for practicing self-care during this holiday season:
Try Gratitude
The holidays are a great time to practice gratitude. Instead of dwelling on what you don’t have — a big feast, dozens of presents, the party of the year, etc. — focus on what you do have. Maybe you’re not able to travel, but you have your nuclear family, close friends, or a roommate with you for the holidays. You might not have a feast, but you can cook your favorite meal and sip some hot cocoa. Reflect on all the things you’ve had to be grateful for this year as it draws to a close.
Know Your Limits and Set Boundaries
Before you say yes to every invitation, know your limits. What can you handle before you burn out socially? What can you afford? Sometimes, you may have to say no, or there may be things you have to put your foot down about. If you struggle to set boundaries, you may worry about bringing down the mood, but those who love and support you will understand those boundaries. They will want this to be a happy holiday season for you, too.
Let Go of Perfection
Everyone wants to have a happy holiday season. However, setting your expectations too high can lead to disappointment and further stress when things don’t go according to plan. Let go of the need for perfection. You don’t have to have the perfect holiday party, the best day of the year or perfect interactions with your family members that you see. In fact, the holidays can still be good without being perfect. Accept that some things might not go the way that you expect, and that’s okay.
Take Breaks
If you feel as though you’re getting swept up in the current of the holidays, take some time for yourself. This is something you can do even when you’re at a holiday gathering. Just respectfully excuse yourself and take a break. Bring a book or something quiet and restful that you can enjoy while you decompress. This can help you recharge your social battery and get the most out of the holiday season.
Connect With Loved Ones
The holidays are all about connecting with loved ones. Even if you don’t have travel plans to see long-distance family members, consider calling or reaching out to a family member or friend you haven’t seen in some time. Catch up with them and take time to connect with them beyond just sending a “happy holidays” message and moving on. Connecting with loved ones is a great way to ground yourself back in your support network when you feel stressed or isolated.
Feel Your Feelings
It’s okay to have complicated feelings about the holidays. In fact, it’s pretty normal. The key is not to avoid those feelings in favor of seeming positive and “cheerful.” Allow yourself to feel whatever you’re feeling — grief, stress, anxiety, loneliness. Spend time with those feelings and reflect on them. Then, move forward through the holiday season at your own pace.
Give
Research shows that giving to those in need can have a remarkable impact on your mental health, as well.3 It can boost self-esteem and reduce symptoms of depression. Consider donating to some of your favorite charities for the holidays, or if you can’t donate financially, volunteer your time.
Most importantly, if your mental health is struggling during the holiday season, reach out for help. The skilled and compassionate clinicians at Rivia Mind are here for you, and we can support you with a free 15-minute clinical phone consultation. Whether you need to adjust your medication management or speak to a counselor or therapist, we have you covered. Contact Rivia Mind today to learn more or find a provider.
Resources:
- Mental Health and the Holiday Blues – National Alliance on Mental Illness
- Seasonal affective disorder – MedlinePlus Genetics
- The Health Benefits of Giving – Rush University Medical Center
