When you’re a naturally shy person, you may feel nervous at the idea of socializing with others. On the other hand, social anxiety can make you feel very shy, averse to social situations. The overlap is clear, so how can you tell one from the other? While shyness is a disposition, social anxiety is a mental health disorder that can be disruptive and disheartening to your life.
Let’s talk about the distinctions between shyness and social anxiety, and where they overlap.
What Is Shyness?
Shyness is an uncertainty and discomfort in social situations, especially talking to strangers or being in a crowd. People who are shy may seem quiet and reserved when you first meet them, but may become more open as you get to know them. They may prefer a quiet night at home or time spent with a small, tight-knit group of friends to a party. They may feel hesitant to try something new. They may identify as “introverted.”
And some of that is reasonable. We all want to make good impressions on new people, and we all feel uncertain in new situations. People who are shy are simply more sensitive to that fear than others might be. In the same way that some are afraid of heights or insects, others might be afraid of large social gatherings.
What Is Social Anxiety?
Social anxiety is a type of anxiety disorder and one of the most common mental health disorders currently. An estimated 12.1% of adults in the United States are expected to experience social anxiety at some point in their lives.1 Social anxiety can ebb and flow, especially when treated. Untreated, however, it can be extremely disruptive to your social life and mental wellbeing.
Many of the symptoms of social anxiety are similar to shyness. Those with social anxiety may be averse to social gatherings or trying new things outside of their comfort zone. However, their fear of these situations is more intense — sometimes involving anxiety attacks or panic attacks. They may exhibit physical symptoms of anxiety such as:
- Headaches and migraines
- Nausea and dizziness
- Sweating
- Racing heartbeat or chest tightness
Overlap and Differences Between Shyness and Anxiety
Not everyone who is shy has social anxiety. Likewise, not everyone who has social anxiety is shy. Some people with social anxiety are actually gregarious and extroverted, but may be struggling with anxious thought patterns internally. These people sometimes have a difficult time recognizing their own social anxiety or being taken seriously in their social anxiety because they don’t fit the stereotypical mold.
However, the initial feelings and behaviors are essentially the same: discomfort and worry about social situations. Both shy and anxious people worry about saying the wrong thing or being perceived in an unfavorable way. Both may avoid social situations, even when they want to connect with others. And many with social anxiety, especially those who do not mask their anxiety well, are in fact deeply shy.
One distinction between shyness and social anxiety is that anxiety doesn’t necessarily go away the more you know someone. Those with social anxiety may feel anxious and insecure spending time around close friends, not just strangers and crowds. Social anxiety is often based in a deeply held belief about themselves or the way that they are perceived, whether by those who know them well or by strangers.
Can Shyness Become Social Anxiety?
Being shy, by itself, is not a disorder. Some people are simply less social than others, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But shy people — especially those who have experienced bullying or pressure due to their shyness — can develop social anxiety.
If your worries about new social situations begin to disrupt your life, making it hard to go to school or work or harming your relationships, you may be struggling not just with shyness but social anxiety. If you find yourself having anxiety attacks or panic attacks at the prospect of socializing, this is a symptom of anxiety, not just shyness.
It’s always a good idea to stay on the safe side and schedule an assessment if you think you might have social anxiety. No good mental health provider will think less of you for wondering if you have anxiety, even if the answer turns out to be no. However, an assessment can give you the peace of knowing what you’re dealing with and a path forward.
Treatments For Social Anxiety
Social anxiety is a type of anxiety disorder, so there are a number of treatments available to help mitigate symptoms. SSRIs such as paroxetine and sertraline or SNRIs such as venlafaxine are commonly used to treat social anxiety. These medications help to balance your serotonin, reducing overwhelming anxiety.
Therapy and counseling, meanwhile, can be used to help you build confidence and learn to cope with symptoms of social anxiety. In therapy, you and your therapist can discuss the root cause of your social anxiety and any negative thought patterns that might be feeding that anxiety. You can make a plan to manage your symptoms or cope on bad anxiety days.
It’s also worth noting that you do not have to have a social anxiety diagnosis in order to receive therapy or counseling. If socializing distresses you in any way or you want to work on your confidence in social situations, it is perfectly acceptable to schedule an appointment with a counselor or therapist. They may even be able to help you determine the distinction in your case, whether you’re shy, have social anxiety, or any other mental health factors that may contribute to a discomfort in social situations.
Socializing and connecting with others is something we all need, but for some it might be a daunting challenge. Our skilled and compassionate clinicians are here to help you. Contact Rivia Mind today to learn more or to schedule a free consultation.
Resources:
- Social Anxiety Disorder – National Institute of Mental Health
