The holidays are often hailed as a time to be spent with friends, family, and loved ones. When you are in the midst of grief, this comes with emotional challenges. Your first holiday spent without a particular loved one can be hard. You may feel lonely, depressed, or reminded of your grief with every get-together. The stress of the holidays can also exacerbate grief.
Preparing yourself for the triggers and stressors that can come may be helpful. In this blog, let’s break down some of the best tips for coping with grief during the holidays.
Plan Ahead
This is not a holiday season like any other. You may need to go at a slower pace than you did last year. You may need to take more time for yourself, or you may need breaks from all of the socializing. And that’s okay. Look at your usual holiday traditions and habits and ask yourself what you can handle this year. Be gentle with yourself; grieving takes time, and you deserve that time.
Set Realistic Expectations
This is not a holiday season like any other. You may need to go at a slower pace than you did last year. You may need to take more time to yourself, or you may need breaks from all of the socializing. And that’s okay. Take a look at your usual holiday traditions and habits and ask yourself what you can handle this year. Be gentle with yourself; grieving takes time and you deserve that time.
Lean on Close Family and Friends
Surround yourself with the loved ones you still have, the ones who love and support you during your grief. It may help to spend time with people who also loved the person that you have lost. For some, sharing memories of the person that you are grieving can be a comfort, especially during the holidays. Know the most understanding and supportive people you can count on, and then actually ask them for help when you need them.
Try To Make It To At Least One Holiday Gathering
In the midst of grief, it’s easy to want to cancel all your plans and simply curl up at home. But it may be better for your mental and emotional well-being to attend at least some holiday gatherings. Loneliness is a significant part of grief, and isolating yourself can only make you feel lonelier. During this time, you will need moments of solitude, but you will also need moments when you socialize and engage with the world, so try to balance both.
Don’t Avoid Your Emotions
Emotional avoidance is easy, almost natural when we experience a painful emotion. We instinctively want to protect ourselves from pain. In the midst of grief, we often try to dive into distractions and escape. But it’s important to allow yourself to feel whatever you feel in your grief. This is especially true during the holidays. Don’t judge yourself for your feelings or how long you may have felt them. Simply let them be what they are.
Engage In Charity or Volunteer Work
There is a plethora of research detailing the various ways that giving to others in need positively impacts mental health. It can reduce stress, boost your self-esteem, and give you something to do rather than ruminating in grief. If you cannot financially donate to charities during the holiday season, consider volunteering at organizations that may need help throughout the holidays.
Honor Old Traditions
There may be certain family traditions you always did with a loved one who is now gone. In some cases, continuing those traditions — alone or with others — may be a way to honor them. It can also help you as you process your grief. Consider what traditions you once shared with them that you can keep, which might be a comfort for you. Ask your other friends and family to join in, as well.
Form New Traditions
That said, it may also be helpful to form new traditions. Developing new holiday traditions is a way of radically accepting that the holidays are different now but also committing to moving forward and continuing to live your life. If old traditions are painful for you to linger on, consider seeking out new traditions: perhaps a new dish or a trip that you take during the holiday season.
If you need additional support to navigate your grief during the holidays, Rivia Mind is here for you. Our skilled and compassionate clinicians are trained in grief and bereavement. Whether you need counseling or medication management, contact us today to learn more.
