If there’s one thing that’s certain in life, it’s that it is certain to change. We all experience big life transitions — from moves to the changing of relationships to career transitions or transitions of identity. Sometimes these life transitions are exciting, while other times they sneak up on us unbidden.
But whether warranted or not, big life transitions can be a challenge for your mental health. The adjustment period of managing stress and complicated emotions can be hard for anyone, especially those who already struggle with emotion regulation. Here are a few ideas for coping with life transitions:
#1 - Try To Prepare Yourself
Sometimes no matter how much you try to prepare for a new life transition, you never truly feel ready. But you can still take those steps to prepare yourself as much as possible.
You could do this by keeping a journal to write down your thoughts and feelings about the transition, or planning your days leading up to and after the life change. If you’re moving or preparing for a baby, for instance, make a list of things that you’ll have to do before the big day. The more prepared you are mentally and emotionally, the better you’ll be prepared to handle the stress of the transition.
#2 - Set Manageable Goals and Expectations
When dealing with a new life transition, it may feel tempting to throw yourself into it fully. Many people end up taking on too many tasks and becoming overwhelmed from the sheer amount of work they have to do. Instead, plan your goals ahead of time and let yourself take it slow. Set small, manageable goals and work to accomplish them gradually.
Try to tackle things one at a time. If life doesn’t allow for that, then try to tackle as little as possible. You’re also dealing with some pretty big emotions — grief over saying goodbye to an old chapter in your life, anxiety and/or excitement for what’s to come. Plus you’re learning a new routine altogether. You may not be able to do as much as you would before. Just give yourself grace and do what you can.
#3 - Create a Routine That Fits Your New Life
Routines are extremely helpful for our mental health. They help us to feel a sense of consistency and control over our lives. The thing about life transitions, even when they’re positive, is that it throws off your routine. You may need to sleep at a different time or manage your work or personal time differently. It can take some adjustment to figure out how to schedule your day now.
When you get a chance, consider your present life circumstances and try to build a new routine around them. Write it down in a planner, a journal, or add it to an organization app. Make sure you leave time for rest and for things that refuel you, rather than filling it with busy work. Finally, figuring out a new routine may take some trial and error. Don’t be too hard on yourself if you need to tweak some things or move them around before you find something that works for you long-term.
#4 - Practice Radical Acceptance
Sometimes a life transition comes whether we want it or not: losing a job, a relationship, a place of living, and so on. Radical acceptance does not mean pretending to be okay with disappointment. Rather, it is about accepting the reality of the disappointment. Your life changed. It might not have been because of anything you did, and it might not have been something you wanted, but it is fundamentally different and you can’t go back to before.
In the face of these hard life transitions, it’s tempting to become stuck in pretending it didn’t happen, trying to keep a sense of “normal,” or ruminating on the lack of fairness. However, these responses can keep you from adjusting to the new life transition. Radical acceptance is about pushing past these and recognizing your current situation and your current feelings about it. From there, you can go on to form your new normal.
#5 - Feel Your Feelings
That does not mean you should repress your feelings and only focus on the positive. Quite the opposite, in fact. You need to feel whatever you’re feeling, regardless of whether you think you should be feeling it or not. If you feel grief because of the life transition, let yourself grieve. If you’re afraid, acknowledge the fear. If you’re excited, or if you have complicated emotions, you should let yourself experience them all without judgment. You need to feel whatever it is you feel in order to process this change in your life.
#6 - Ask For Help
Finally, don’t ever be afraid to ask for help when dealing with life transitions. Sometimes these big life changes can be simply too hard to handle on your own, and you shouldn’t have to. Turn to your support network when you need to vent or when you need to find someone who can help you adjust to this change. If you have a partner, share what you’re going through with them.
And of course, if you need mental health support when experiencing big transitions, seek it out. If you already have a therapist, counselor, or medication consultant, talk to them about what you’re going through and what you’re feeling and make a plan to cope. If you don’t, now might be the time to reach out for counseling. There is never anything weak in knowing your limits and asking for help.
Our team of skilled and compassionate clinicians is here to help you through any life transition. Contact Rivia Mind today to learn more about how we can support you or to schedule a free 15-minute consultation.
