Ready or not, the holidays are fast approaching. Soon, you’ll be preparing dinners, coordinating visits with relatives, and getting the kids ready for any potential travel or holiday plans for the year.
While the holidays can be a wonderful time of year full of warmth and togetherness, there’s no question that they can also be stressful. When you already struggle with your mental health, there are parts of the holidays that might be a trying time. Here are a few tips to manage your mental health during the holiday season:
#1 - Radically Accept What They Are, Not What Your Plan Was
Especially if you are the family member or friend who plans a big holiday party, it can be easy to let your plans get carried away with you. You want the holidays to be perfect, and you build up a picture in your head of exactly what it should be. The problem is that when there are so many variables involved, things rarely go perfectly according to plan. You may have a relative who can’t make it on the day of, there may be weather issues, or you may not be able to cook every dish that you originally planned.
Take a moment to bid farewell to your fantasy holiday and to accept it for what it was: a fantasy. Instead, cope ahead for the knowledge that your holidays will probably not look like that and there may be frustrations along with the joy. Accept the reality of your holidays, even if it’s not what you would have preferred, and you’ll be better able to go with the flow without catastrophizing.
#2 - Keep a Finger on the Pulse of Your Emotions
When you get a quiet moment, stop to check in with your emotions. What are you feeling? Stress? Excitement? Frustration? Anticipation? Label the emotion first, and then consider the severity of that emotion. It can help to set a scale from 1-5 for your emotional intensity.
Before things get too hectic, decide at what level you need to take a break from the festivities and what that break would look like. It could be excusing yourself to sit in your room for a few minutes until you calm down. It could be taking a walk or a quiet drive while running an errand. Don’t force your emotions back, but rather keep an eye on them so you know how to take care of yourself.
#3 - Don’t Force Yourself To Be Happy
There is a lot of pressure during the holiday season to be filled with joy and wonder. You hear songs telling you that it’s the happiest time of the year. Every commercial, every street or home decoration, seems to tell you that if you’re not happy during the holiday season, something is wrong with you.
But sometimes you just aren’t feeling that holiday spirit. Maybe you’ve had a rough year. Maybe you’re missing someone. Or maybe you’re just not that interested this year. The truth is, that’s all valid and okay. This can be a sad or reflective time of year, too. It could be an exhausting time of year. And ultimately, it’s just another season and how you feel is dependent on what is going on in your life.
You don’t need to force yourself to be in the “holiday spirit.” Instead, acknowledge the feelings you have. Be curious about them, but not judgmental.
#4 - Accept Your Limitations
You might receive a plethora of invitations to holiday parties, dinners, and get-togethers. While flattering, it might begin to feel overwhelming. This is especially true if your anxiety and depression makes social gatherings a bit exhausting for you. Don’t feel the need to please everyone. You don’t have to say yes to every party. Consider what your bandwidth is and plan accordingly.
By the same token, be patient and accepting if not everyone accepts your invitations, or if they have to duck out early. Remember that they may have their own limitations and waning social battery during the holiday season.
#5 - Create a Schedule
Sometimes it feels like there is just too much to do during the holiday season and not enough time to do it. It can help if you get organized early and create a schedule. When are you going to do your holiday shopping? When are you going to cook, bake, wrap presents, host parties or attend parties? Make sure to schedule downtime, as well. You need to be able to take breaks and relax amid the mayhem of the holidays.
#6 - Make It a Special Time For You
On the other hand, you may be feeling rather isolated this holiday season. Maybe you moved to a new city and you don’t have anyone to celebrate with. Maybe you just don’t celebrate those big holidays. That’s okay. You can still make this a special time for you. Consider ordering or cooking your favorite food, watching your favorite show, reading your favorite book, or whatever will help you to enjoy your time with yourself.
#7 - Consider Smaller, Personal Gifts
There can be a sense of shame and anxiety when it comes to gift giving during the holidays. If you don’t have the sort of income that your friends have, you might feel inadequate being unable to buy those hot, expensive gifts that you see advertised. But sometimes the best gifts you can offer are personal gifts. Homemade baked goods, a poem, a craft, or even offering help to someone who needs it. These gifts are more about the heart and how the recipient will appreciate it, rather than how much it costs.
Rivia Mind is here for you through this complicated season, through any of the feelings you might have about it. Reach out to us today to schedule an appointment with your provider or to learn the other ways we can support you during the holidays.
