Accepting that emotions are a necessary element of your mental wellness is an important part of any therapy. Although we often tend to avoid uncomfortable emotions or feel shame about our emotions, emotions are neither good nor bad. They simply are. Your feelings are a way for your mind to signal to your body that something new or challenging is happening.
Emotionally focused therapy (EFT), however, takes this a step further by centering emotions as part of the healing process. What is EFT? In today’s blog, let’s break down everything you need to know.
What Is EFT?
EFT is a humanistic approach to therapy developed in the 1980s by Dr. Sue Johnson. It has roots in attachment theory and a focus on emotional experiences. Dr. Johnson originally developed EFT to help couples and families communicate their emotions with each other more effectively. Over time, it became utilized for individual therapy, especially for PTSD, anxiety, and depression.
In 2008, Dr. Johnson published Hold Me Tight, the authoritative book when it comes to EFT. Attachment Theory in Practice, also written by Dr. Johnson, is another book that delves into the principles of EFT.
This is an experiential therapy, meaning that it focuses on the present moment. The intent is to build corrective emotional experiences in a safe environment and to validate the emotions without avoidance. The goals of EFT include:
- Assemble and experience primary emotions
- Create corrective emotional experiences
- Be more open, responsive, and engaging with self and others
- Shape coherent sense of self, constructive dependency (interdependency)
- Emotional stability
Core Concepts of EFT
EFT is based on the core concept that emotions are what motivates change and that they are interconnected with thought. While we often dismiss acting on emotions as impulsivity, listening to emotions can actually be very reflective and lead to a push back against impulsivity. The process of emotion motivated change typically looks like:
Feeling → Physical Response → Imagery → Thought → Action
In this way, emotions are tied to every part of the decision making process and interwoven with thought and actions. EFT has a focus on primary and secondary emotions just like dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) does. But while DBT focuses on the secondary emotion, EFT focuses on the primary emotion.
Attachments and Relationships
Relationships can sometimes come with heightened emotions, including relationships with the self. Even when emotions aren’t heightened, it’s still important to sit with and reflect on the emotions experienced in relationships.
EFT is similar to internal family systems therapy (IFS) in its focus on connection and emotions. It holds that isolation traumatizes individuals while connection can be healing. According to EFT, without connection and support, any self-soothing coping skills and life changes will be short-lived and not have the impact that they would otherwise have.
The 5 Steps of EFT
There are five steps to EFT. The time taken between each step will vary depending on what the patient needs. They are:
Reflect. Present. Process.
In this stage, the therapist and patient will pause and reflect on what’s going on in the present moment. They reflect on interpersonal patterns as well as emotion regulation patterns. The goal is not to judge these patterns. Rather, in this stage, you will simply observe, reflect, validate, and normalize the emotions. This will lay the groundwork going forward.
Explore Primary and Deeper Emotions
This step focuses on emotions and the events that caused them, moving from past to present. The goal is evocation, active processing, and finally regulation of emotions. It’s important for the patient to acknowledge the emotions and engage with them rather than avoid and deny them. The therapist will stay with them through this process, not rushing but just letting the process be what it is.
Choreographing Engaged Encounters
The therapist and patient will create choreographed interactions in order to create an emotional experience in a safe environment. The first step is the organic relationship between therapist and patient. The therapist can provide validation and acceptance. From there, the patient will imagine a conversation — with the guidance of the therapist — between the judgmental parts of themselves and the compassionate parts of themselves. Finally, they will imagine encounters with partners, family, and loved ones.
Process the Encounter
Discuss and reflect how those choreographed encounters felt. Take time to solidify the experience. The therapist will help to reinforce the corrective emotional experience to commit it to habit.
Integration and Validation
Finally, the patient will bring these skills into their daily life. The therapist will give homework to help them integrate what they learned in therapy into their relationships and their daily life. In subsequent therapy sessions, they will report how that practice went. The more the patient can practice these skills, the easier it will become.
It’s important to give yourself grace and time while going through this therapy. EFT is not about judging your emotions, but rather taking time to get to know them and accept them. Interested in beginning EFT? Rivia Mind has appointments available within 24 hours, browse our providers and find the perfect fit for you. Our skilled and compassionate clinicians are here to help you with experience in EFT and other therapies.
