Your mental health struggles don’t magically disappear at some point in your adulthood, and certainly not when you become a parent. But your priorities will shift, as now you will need to look after the wellbeing of your child. It can be hard to carve out time to take care of yourself and to work on your mental health. It may even feel selfish to focus on your health for any period of time.
However, it’s important to know that taking care of your mental health is not selfish; it’s vital. If you neglect your mental health, it will continue to deteriorate. This could be an issue not just for you, but for your family. So here are a few ways that parents can take care of their mental health even while they take care of their children.
Carve Out a Few Minutes For Yourself
Parenting is a rewarding but often demanding job. It’s important to carve out a few minutes for yourself. This may be in the morning before your kids wake up or in the evening after they’ve gone to bed.
During this time, don’t worry about what you have to do over the course of the day. Just focus on relaxing and refreshing. It could be enjoying a cup of coffee on the porch, going for a walk, or reading for a few minutes. This can help to ground and calm you as you get ready for the day.
Check In With Yourself When You Can
Similarly, take a moment to check in with yourself. How are you feeling? Are you overly stressed? Have you eaten or had enough water? What does your sleep look like? What about any symptoms of anxiety or depression? Make sure not to judge yourself as you check in. Simply observe. Take in what your needs are and what you can do to better meet those needs.
Ask For Support
You don’t have to go it alone. Many parents raise their children with a partner, but even if you’re a single parent, you may still be able to ask for help. Reach out to friends and family. They may be willing to watch your kids or help you when you’re feeling overwhelmed. If finances are a struggle, as can often be a stressor for parents, don’t be afraid to look for economic relief or to ask for help when you need it. Although the barrier of shame can be a hard one to break, asking for and accepting help can really lighten your mental load.
Don’t Put Off Receiving Mental Health Treatment
If you are struggling with symptoms of mental illness but busy being a parent, it can be easy to put off receiving mental health treatment. You might worry about who will take care of your kids while you’re in therapy, or you might simply feel too tired to reach out. However, the longer you wait, the worse those symptoms will become. It will also be harder to reach out for treatment the longer you wait.
Again, try to find a friend or family member who might be willing to watch your kids for a time while you go to therapy. If you have school-aged kids, schedule therapy while they’re in school. You can also do telehealth, which would allow you to have therapy at home as long as you can be in a safe, comfortable space (such as your bedroom with the door closed).
Don’t Overcommit
Being a parent is a full-time job, and you may already have a full-time job on top of that. It’s a lot to balance, so be careful not to overcommit. Your kids might want to play soccer or try dance or some other enrichment activity; but they don’t have to be signed up for everything. Moreover, if you’re stressed and overwhelmed, your kids will likely notice that. They may internalize that stress and believe themselves to be at fault for it.
Only commit to what you can handle. Don’t be afraid to tell your kids no if you don’t have time or money for a particular activity. They might not like it, but in the end, it will be healthier for them to be told no every now and then.
Take Some Quality Family Time
Part of taking care of your mental health as a parent is connecting with those important relationships to you — and fortunately, you have many of those important relationships on hand. Take some quality family time, whether that’s nightly family dinners or a weekly family game night.
Maybe there’s a TV show you all like to watch together. You can make a family night out of it. Or you can read a book to your kids at night before they go to bed. This will strengthen your bonds and remind you of the rewarding parts of parenting.
Practice Some Teflon Mind
Kids, especially adolescents, can be moody. They might seem more disrespectful or rude, or they may say things recklessly that can hurt. As a parent, you might be tempted to take their behavior personally. After all, you’re responsible for them. But it’s important to understand that this is something adolescents naturally go through. Try to practice some teflon mind, letting the behavior glance off of you and remembering that it is not necessarily a reflection on you as a parent.
Don’t Compare Yourself to Others
Parents tend to be hard on themselves. They may see other parents with their children and think that they seem to have it all together. They may decide that those parents are doing a better job than they are, or they may worry that other parents are judging them. Remember that everything looks better from the outside. The parents you compare yourself to likely have their own struggles with their kids, and they may be thinking the same thing about you. Don’t worry about comparing yourself to other parents. Just focus on your child and doing your best.
When you need mental health support, Rivia Mind is here for you. We offer telehealth services for therapy and medication management. Contact us today to learn more or to schedule a free 15-minute consultation.
